Dear absent models,

I see you holding your head high. A little too high if you ask me. I feel you ignoring my presence. It’s not like you ever paid attention to me before. Hell, you didn’t even accept my friend request on Facebook. Must be too big for me, right? Not big enough… What ran through your head when you first read my fan mail? Did you ever think I’d get to your level of performance? We’re walking the same shows now. We’re getting the same treatment. What makes you any different from me now? Do you know how long it took me to get here? Do you know what the fuck I went through? NO, you don’t. But it’s alright because I don’t know your story either. But here’s the difference… I was willing to share mine. I was willing to open up to someone I had never met before because I felt that connection already. That feeling of despair once entering the fashion industry. I no longer care to share my secrets with you. I thought maybe the fucked up side of fashion wasn’t real but you gave me every reason to believe that models can be cruel. Humans, in general, too.  If I ever get to that side, push me the fuck out. I never want to reach that level of ignorance. Is it wrong if I welcome myself to this world? Am I allowed to pat myself on the back? This isn’t my way of bragging. This is my way of letting others know that I am here and ready to take on whatever comes my way.

– Nolan



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