Photography by Ojos Oscuros
I have caught myself over the past few months avoiding my blog and attempting to withdraw from all social media but there appears to be something that keeps me from completely letting go. I have the ability to parade my life online so that people have a better understanding of what the actual hell goes on in my head but do I really find comfort in talking to whomever is reading this and social media? The answer is yes. I genuinely enjoy writing to my subscribers and friends every now and then to give a casual update on my life. I have admitted in the past that I have horrible social skills when it comes to texting and talking but I would rather much write on here with no judgement and accept what is to come later on.
It is 4:30am and the sun has yet to rise up. This is possibly the worst feeling ever. Getting zero to none sleep and then witnessing the next day slowly emerging by the sound of cars on the expressway gradually growing and the light of the sun getting brighter. Life can be beautiful at times but when you dread moments like this, you feel just a tad queasy. This is an exact replica of my life at the moment. Take it how you want. I sound a bit depressed but the honest truth is, finals are over and I now have the chance to enjoy myself with no worries.
School is probably the number one reason as to why I have not found time to write on here and yes, I am also lazy but HEY! I finally feel like a kid again. I enjoyed myself for the first time in ages the other day with my boyfriend and felt young. I should not have to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders at age 19. Instead, I let the weight go ( temporarily until the next semester starts ) and I sure feel amazing again.
“Sometimes you’re better off dead
There’s a gun in your hand
It’s pointing at your head.
You think you’re mad, too unstable
Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables
In a restaurant in a West end town
Call the police there’s a mad man around”
Pet Shop Boys – West End Girls, 1984